My dear Maricruz :hug Are you upset because Ioan is married, finally, or because of what has been said? Whichever, just stay here with us and talk it through....we all understand :hug

Yes, we do.

Maricruz, I join Stevie and GG in assuring you that if you need someone to talk it through, we are here to listen and understand, and if you need to cry, you can borrow our shoulders.

Honey...I really don't know what to say...pardon my ignorance but was it the wedding that brought all of this on? Like to this extent, or have you felt like this for a long time? Is there someone you know personally who you can discuss all of this with? Big hugs going your way :hug :hug

Many :hug to you Maricruz. That is some good advice from Kaitlyn if you have someone close that you can pour your heart out to? If not, share what you can here and maybe PM one of us so you can be more specific about the issues you are facing. I know you have said before that you are very close to your family, but they can also be controlling, is that part of the issue? I have never been married and believe me, I can understand many of the difficulties and emotions that arise from events like weddings. Go through the emotions, but don't give up. Life can always improve and love can always be just around the corner. My heart goes out to you. Please continue to let us know how you are doing. :group hug GG

By the way, Maricruz, I hope that you don't take my suggestion of talking to someone you know the wrong way. I wasn't trying to pass you off, I know that at times it is a lot easier to talk to someone from the forum about these sorts of things, I do it myself usually, but if there is one person you really could talk to about how you are feeling I'm sure it'd would be very helpful also. That being said, I'm, and other members here, are here and I for one will be more than happy to listen to you and maybe even help you out. PM me if you ever need to. :hug

I really feel for you, Maricruz. I can understand how hard it is to live feeling like you have so much to give and no-one to give it to and like you are surrounded by people who sticking their nose where they shouldn't: I've had moments like this and they were usually brought about by weddings. However, don't give up, Maricruz, and if you need to vent, do it here or drop PMs to one of us. Many :hug

Maricruz, I share with everyone our concern. I am also not sure what you are so upset about, but I checked your member profile and read that your interests are: to live long enough to find one true love. Is that what is bothering you? That you haven't found that one true love? I am not sure how old you are, but my guess is that you are still a young woman. So, the chances of you meeting that one right man are certainly high. The most important thing is for you to get out in the world doing things that you enjoy and make you happy. That right man will be attracted to your happiness and commitment to whatever you choose to do. And as a person who has been married for over 23 years, I can say that the really important thing is to find the right man, not just any man. Life can be difficult and you need a sold person to stick with you throughout all the bumps on the road. The romance fades, but the basic friendship and commitment stay with you throughout. If it offers any comfort, I was once in despair that I would ever find the right man. But he appeared when I was in my late 20's. When I look back, I realize that I had been waiting for him all along, although it didn't seem like that then. So, please don't despair. Life will provide you with what you need to be happy. Just be open to finding it. GinaP :cool:

Dear Maricruz, I've had you on my mind off-and-on all day today. I want to offer my hand in friendship to you, as we all do,and please know that you are special to me, to all of us. I would urge you to try talking your feelings out with someone you trust, someone you feel comfortable with, and someone who you feel would listen to you with compassion and care in their heart. Whomever that person(s) is/are, please know that we are here for you if you need us, okay?

Mari- I'm sorry, because everyone is so kind here, but you seem to be having an episode that might require some more professional treatment. There is no way you'd ever have met Ioan, had him fall in love with you and marry you. That just doesn't happen in real life! You might want to seek a counselor if you feel this way and if it is affecting your life as it seems to right now, no matter what your age! You do seem to be on the edge of despair.

Someone has pointed out to me that my advice to Mari seems cruel. I don't have much time, which is why I didn't post more for Mari, but let me quickly explain my stance. I watched someone I really liked on another board really fall into fantasy and despair. The rest of us abetted that, not really knowing how deep this person was getting. Her remarks about this man's girlfriend started to give us hints about how much she felt attached to his life. I was so relieved when she quit that board, her obsession was just getting unmanageable. I have a diverse staff of individuals working for me for a number of years now. Several situations have let me see the value of counseling in the happiness of people who are undergoing depression and trouble spots in their lives. Depression is not something to fool around with. It is very serious and best treated promptly. I have 2 friends who ended up with hospital stays because their symptoms were not recognized and treated in time. So please. I'm not cruel. Just old enough to have seen a few things.

I would not have said your words were cruel, Havoc, just realistic. The same response had crossed my mind, but I wasn't convinced that this was exactly Maricruz's problem - perhaps you could enlighten us, Mari? Do you feel unable to cope with your feelings for Ioan, or your situation in general? Either way, speaking to a professional counsellor would be a sound idea. I'm not sure how it works in your country, but in the UK, yu would start with a visit to your GP, who can point you to someone best able to help you. I speak from first hand experience, Mari, having been through aperiod of deep depression when my children were small, for which I needed (and greatly benifitted from) both medication and therapy. The hardest step was admitting I needed help, which you seem already to be doing. Please take the next step and seek out a professional. I, personally never looked back; my recovery brought a dynamic career change and made me see myself for the strong woman that I am. I still use the techniques I learned in cognitive therapy today, when things begin to get on top of me. And, believe me, my strength has been sorely -*test*-('")ed in recent years. If you want to reply privately email myself, or any of us, but please seek out professional help too. There's so much inside you that is being obscured by misery; get help to let it out. We are here for you. Thankyou, Havoc, for the timely dose of reality :hug

I guess Stevie, what I'm trying to say, is that I'm not sure that we have the tools with which to judge Mari's situation nor do we have the knowledge to really counsel her. I'm always around for an ear to listen though.