Overreact much?
So yesterday I was sent an email - one of those forwarded surveys, ya know? This particular survey I'd not seen before. It was basically listing the things that you don't like or that bother you. No big deal right? I mean, I didn't think anymore into it then just listing the things I don't like. Does that make me a bad person?? Does that make me a complainer or a b*tcher?? So I fill the thing out and pass it along to my list of friends and family. This morning I find in my inbox, one of my friends has sent a response. Getting ready for some of her dislikes, I read only to find that it's basically an emailed reprimand. She blasted the type of email it was saying that after having her husband serving over in Afghanistan for the past 6 months, we have no business complaining about petty little things when there are people in 3rd world countries who have so far worse off. That those people have to live in horrible weather conditions, in a horrible environment, etc. and that we have nothing to complain about. :blink: :blink: First off, I was a little less than thrilled to be receiving this email at all. I understand what it means to be thankful, honestly I do. I know that I have a lot to be thankful about. While others may poo-poo all over America and Americans in general, I happen to like my country and know that it is one of the better places to live in. I'm very proud to be living in this country and appreciate very much the sacrifices others have made so I can have the opportunities offered to me. I may not be living in the most ideal situation, but I also understand that it could be far worse. And so for that I'm grateful. Listing things like the colors I don't like or drinks I don't like doesn't make me ungrateful or a complainer or a bad person. It's just simply listing something I don't like. Life isn't all fairies and rainbows kids. Let's get that straight off the bat. I don't constantly sit and complain about how awful my life is because I'm broke or because I don't like my neighbors or my job or what have you. Those things I already know are in my control and nobody else's. It's nobody else's fault or problem that I chose not to get a higher education, thus leading to my dead end job. I understand this. I also don't like it. Is that a crime now??? I understand that in some other countries, there are people who don't have the medical needs to survive a simple flu. I understand that there are those countries whose governments won't allow them jobs or education at all. I get that. I'm not trying to compare the list of things I don't like to the sufferings of people in smaller, impoverished countries. There is no comparison. I get the fact that I'm better off than a lot of people out there. But that doesn't mean I should (or anybody for that matter) walk around as though life is beautiful all the time. And the sun shines on my a$$ 24/7. And that birds sing purely for my enjoyment. I'm not a cartoon character who gets dressed in the morning with the help of woodland creatures. As good as I may have it in life compared to some, it doesn't take away from the things I don't like/have or what annoys me. So does that make me a bad person?? Does that make me ungrateful??? Am I the only one who doesn't walk around with a smile and a sunny disposition all day long because I was born in America as opposed to Sri Lanka??? Secondly, she didn't just respond to me - she responded to EVERYBODY on the list. All my friends and family. Most of these people, she doesn't even know. And I've now got some people asking me who the hell she is and why she's so damn pissed off over a stupid email. Personally I feel that she was out of line, she was incredibly judgemental and condescending. She scolded a bunch of people (many of which, again, she didn't even know) for a stupid email that she simply could/should have deleted if it bothered her so badly. I mean, isn't that what you would have done? I know it's what I would have done. I get emails all the time about various things and some I delete because I either don't like them or I don't have time for them. But if I delete an email because I don't agree with it or I don't like it, I surely don't hit the "reply to all" button and blast the person who sent it to me! I simply delete and move on. I didn't want to get into anything with her over emails (because I've pretty much learned that lesson), so I didn't want to tell her that I was disappointed and a little pissed at her response. But when my friend came up to me and asked who this person was she got an angry email from, I at least had to tell her to lay off my friends and family in the future. I sent her an email and told her simply in the future take her beef up with me and leave everybody else out of it. I don't know if this will set her off to respond to me via email or phone, but I at least spoke that much of my peace. I didn't really want to email her why I felt her response was out of line and inappropriate. We don't even get to see or speak to each other that often (because she's got family obligations and a life and all), so I'm sure that by the next time we do see or speak to each other, it will all be forgotten. But was I really that out of line?? And it's not as though I'm the one who made up this survey in the first place. I just filled it out and passed it on. Can anybody tell me what is so God awful about this email that I should be scolded in such a manner??? Am I missing the point???

:hmm: I think your friend definitely overreacted and you're not a bad person, Gnat. Personally, I'm aware that I'm lucky to be born where I was born and live where I live, and there are many things that I'm grateful about, but my life isn't perfect and my country isn't perfect (does the perfect country exist? I don't think so) and there are things that I don't like and I'd change or improve, but I don't feel like I'm a bad person.

Do not worry GNAT0629 about one person's opinions! :hug Pffffff :mrgreen: You did NOTHING bad in answering those (invading surveys...) surveys yourself. :tsk tsk: :wink: Com'on, it is just a game, it is not a serious thing. Your friend really overreacted. :???: :roll: I understand her though. Of course if she is "suffering", little problems in other people's lives appear "stupid" to her. I UNDERSTAND, it's sad for her what's happening in her own life. But it is not your life, it is not the life of the other persons from this "survery-list". And it is not your fault if you THEN participated to this "light-surver-game". :tsk tsk: :) And by the way, God bless you all that your life is good and that you can have "little problems" to laugh with. :hug Do not get angry at your friend. Maybe she is already feeling bad and guilty after what she wrote. BUT do not care either, do not get worried for that !!!!!! :)

Definite overreaction. Those surveys which I sometimes answer and sometimes delete are intended for fun and to help you get to know friends and family better, not solve the world's problems. It could have hit her on a particularly bad day with a lot of worries about her husband. I think asking her to take up any issues she has over something you've sent directly with you rather than the hitting the "Reply to All" button, was the best solution. Or you can take her off your list for sending those sorts of e-mails to. And no, it hardly makes you a bad person to respond to a survey and pass it on. Irritating maybe :wink: , just kidding. Somedays I delete more than I fill out.

You are not a bad person and mos def you weren't out of line. So what if you filled out some survey with some likes and/or dislikes or for that matter any of the surveys. I mean some of those supposed to be fun. We are all different and some people like the things others don't. Should that make us dislike them? I don't think so. There sure are some things we share in common. But sending you a reply and saying all those things to you it is just isn't right and I agree with Gaff she is overreacting. I would like to see the survey and what I would say about some of the things I don't like (concerning life in general not some trivial things) would be really something. There are so many things in my life that are downhill but I too am grateful for some of the good stuff. I don't dare to think what she (the person in question) would say about my answers.

You know Selma, I never even thought about it that way, that a simple survey like the one Gnat had, could be used to educate people about some of harsher difficulties like you face. Others also face difficulties we don't know about. Wouldn't it have been smarter for that young woman to have filled out the survey and enlighten some of her friends to the issues she cared about. It would not be complaining, but sharing some of her situation and concerns. She may have been able to find some people receiving it were willing to help her. Or aid in one of her favorite causes.

Thanks for your encouragement - all of you! Especially you Selma, I know you've not had it easy in life. But honestly, who has?? Some may have had it worse than others for sure. But it's really not fair to compare one's person's life and struggles to another's. It's apples and oranges really. I do appreciate what you all had to say. As for my girlfriend there, she did apologize to the fact that others' on the list didn't share her view. She wasn't at all angry about the email, she just didn't see the sense in dwelling on all the negatives in life. I explained to her that one's tone in an email can come off very different when it's read by others. Maybe she intended for people to lighten up on all the wrongs in the world and their lives, but it really did come out condescending and judgemental. I still didnt' go into the whole thing with her again because we were emailing. She has surprised me a lot lately with her views in politics and life. Her husband is home from his second tour of duty in the Middle East. He was over there when the war first broke out in Iraq and was stationed there for over a year. This time, he served about 6 months in Afghanistan. I don't know if his experience this time was different than before or if he's told her about more things in this tour than the last, but something's changed her since he's come home. She's definitely more on the side of sticking up for the military folks than before. I think she realizes now just how hard military life is especially for those who are serving on the front lines and are there and witnessing stuff first hand. I don't know, maybe she's just a bit more sensitive to the whole thing now than she ever was before. While I still didn't like the tone she took in her first response, I really don't think she meant to make anybody upset or angry. I still told her that I did think the survey to be funny personally. I'm not the type of person who sits around and dwells on the bad and I don't think this particular survey did that. But in the future I know to not include her in stuff like that. Surveys in general can be a pain only because you generally see the same ones circulating around the internet constantly. If I have the time and have something fun and interesting to say, I'll fill it out. If I don't, then I won't. In any case, the whole things done and over with now. Again, we don't even see or speak to each other often enough to let it affect me or our friendship in any way. Again, I don't dwell. I actually hadn't even been thinking about it at all today until coming in here. So now I'm just really kinda over the drama, because I don't think she meant anything negative by it. And it's a new day. And I'm sure by the time we next see/speak to each other, it won't even be brought up. But I do appreciate all of your responses. It does make me feel better knowing that I'm not as horrible and negative a person as I was beginning to feel. :wink:

That's right,GG. Instead she seems to have been looking only at the superficial side of things---and something (God only knows what) set her off for that day. Gnat, I think you handled it very well. You're not out of line on this. It was just an entertainment item,and she was having a rotten day.

NO PROBLEMO GNAT0629. :kiss You are certainly not a bad person because of this "event"! And it is a GOOD thing your friend has apologized. That's important. :) Now it's great you don't pay attention to that bad experience anymore. But sure... ...in the future I know to not include her in stuff like that. Noooooo really?! :mrgreen: :wink: ---- :hug GNAT0629.