Out of my mind, why this had to happen!
Mum had some sort of epileptic attack today, and I was out of my mind watching her. The emergency came in very late or so it seemed to me. They had given her some medicine and rushed to the Neurology straight away. There she had another one, she was in and out of consciousness, the ER doctor said that she might be or she could fall in a coma but she wasn't. The admitting doctor at the neurology ordered the CAT scan, so the ambulance took her to another part of town to a hospital where they had done CAT scan. We waited for the results and when they come in the doctor said that she has cancer metastasis on her brain, and she says that it is inoperable. Everything was great these past two days we had my sister visiting with my aunt (mother sister) and my mother's cousin that she hadn't seen in 18 years. Today mum was a bit confused but we thought that is because our guests have left, so after that she had seizure. I ask myself all night long the question why her?!? What has she done to deserve this? She is the bravest person I know and so proud and strong. Why she had to replace both, not one but both of her hips? And taken her goal-bladder or why does she has to have breast cancer that now is spreading? Why?! I know there is no answer to it, but I am still asking. Mum is been worried about me ever since she learned that she has cancer, since I am still single, no child (grandchild to her) of my own, and no job. About the job part nurses here disgust me! I have finished high school for nursed but I can't bare to be one. I would "burned" out too soon. And seeing the nurses here at the ward is repulsing! I know that they are underpaid but not to care about the patient is beyond me. Me and my dad had to hold mum when she was under seizure. My sister went home and we haven't told her tonight but will in the morining, we didn't want to upset her after the trip back home and because my aunt Mum's sis) is an older woman and we thought about her being scared about mum. Sorry for burden you with this but you have been always there with a good word for me, and since I don't have many of friends, I don't want to say in real life cause you are real to me, but my personal life. Thanks for being here! With all my love Selma

Oh Selma, I am so sorry to hear your Mom and family are going through all this. It is so sad to hear the troubles your Mom has had to face. I send my :hug , my prayers and love. I hope that your Mother will not be in pain or be afraid. I am sure you are a great comfort to her. I hope they are able to find medication that will help prevent the seizures. :hug

Oh my dear Selma, what a terrible situation. I am so sorry to hear this sad news. You are right, why does she deserve this ? We have no answer to this question. Sometimes it is so hard to believe when there is so much pain and sadness you have to bear. War, no work, cancer ! It is almost inhuman. Selma I will pray for your Mom, you and your family. I send you all my love and I hope that you will have enough strenght to go through this terrible time and that your Mom will not be in pain. Remember that we are there to comfort you and that we love you.

Sweet Selma, I'm so sorry to learn of your troubles. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. It is hard to understand,I know,but please know that there are those who think and care about you and your family. I hope your mama will be comfortable and regain her strength. All of you are so brave. Love, Ship

Selma, I'm sorry to hear about your and your family's troubles; there seems to be no peace for you. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. :hug

You and your family have suffered so much, Selma. And there will never be an answer to your question 'Why?', I'm afraid. Cancer is such a cruel, rapaious, merciless diease. To suffer it alongside the horrors of war and the difficulties of a country picking up the pieces, is unimaginable to me. You have been so breave and resourceful throughout it all; you consider all members of your family and seem to hold them all together. I wish you strength and courage and ultimately peace, through all of this. Never forget that we are here, publicly and privately to listen. :hug The issue of nurses who do not care properly for their patients is beyond me too. I know that sometimes we are overwhelmed with the practicalities of our job to feel we have given the personl touch to our care, but we would always include the family in the situation, so they might see our difficuty. Is there a procedure for comlaint at your hospitals. Here, registered nurses have a legally binding Code of Conduct and neglection of our 'duty of care' would be taken extremely seriously.

Selma, Please forgive me for not responding sooner. I had been away at a conference and was playing catch up at work, and I just got back to the zone today. I am so sorry your mother is enduring all these health problems. I hope she is well soon, GinaP

Thanks all! I love my IoanZoners! Mum is home. She has been released only after a day in the hospital and I have been looking after her ever since, and giving her her medications through i.v.. She is better but the doctors said that she has cancer metastasis on her brain by the latest tests. We haven't told her yet. A four days ago my father went for three days in the hospital to have a procedure on his heart called choronography, his results were should I say good, I don't know, but the same as before. No further damage to his heart from back when he had his heart attack. Aida. my sister is in the hospital since she lost a lot of fluid, she has been sick with some kind of stomach flu or something and should be released on Monday. So to say my life pretty sucks. Other than that I passes my driving test and now I should got my license any day. Now all I have to do is buy a car, which is expensive especially nowadays with all the recession going on. But the car for me is needed to drive mum and dad to the hospital and not have to ask someone to drive us or to get a taxi. Dad and his siblings had a old devastated house on small property that they sold and small amount went to all of them. From that money we plan to buy me a car. Only I pray that mum feels better so I could drive her somewhere nice. She says "And all is left is for my Selma to have a car, cause she sure deserve it" It brakes my heart!

:hug to you, Sweetie. I'm glad that your Mother was able to come home, but I'm sorry that the state of her health isn't better. It sounds like your Father's report was promising. My Dad has heart issues,too. So, I know how scary that can be. I hope he continues to get good reports. Congratulations on passing your driving test. That is a fantastic step. I hope that you are able to find a very good deal for a car. Hugs once again and keep us updated.

Selma, you certainly deserve a car, because you are so good for your parents. It also breaks my heart. It must be very hard for you, I understand when you say that life sucks. So much misery. And all those you love who are so ill. I hope your sister recovers very quickly. I am glad that the results of your father's heart were good. As for your mother I hope that she has not much pain and that the treatment helps her. I have so much respect for your looking after her. You are such a good girl. You do not deserve this. But Selma you must be strong, your parents need you. I hope you will find a nice car. I wish that one day you get the love from somebody, somebody who will look after you and love you for the rest of your life. One day the sun will shine for your. I will pray for you all and I will pray that one day you will be happy. Do not lose your courage. Stay strong my dear Selma. We all love you.

Selma, I'm sorry to hear about all the health issues in your family. You don't deserve to have to go through all this. My father had a heart attack six years ago, so I can understand how scary heart issues can be. Congratulations on passing your driving test and I hope you can find a cheap car to buy soon. :hug

I'm so glad you have passed your test, to enable things to be a little easier for your family, Selma. :hug You seem determined to make the best of a horrendous situation and you deserve good luck for a change!

Hello Selma, I'm thinking of you and will continue to do so as the days go by. Very glad to learn that you have your driver's license. And good luck finding a reliable car to get around in. Your mama is right, you deserve it,Honey! Love, Ship

I'm so sorry for your trials Selma. I shall think of you as my husband and I celebrate Thanksgiving. No one should have to endure that much grief. Hope your car gives you some comfort from all of this. Not personally, but from what you can do service for others.

Big thank you to all for your posts! No news on when will I buy the car yet, since we wanted to find something good and reliable but not too expensive. It won't be a brand new but second hand kind of one that will still serve us good. I am waiting on my uncle and cousin to go with me and dad to find and choose one since they are car mechanics that are mainly focused on wires and electricity in the car sort of thing. Mum is bit better though. Love yah! Selma