need a shoulder to cry on
hi people, I know i haven't been here for a while but i have a good reason. In October 2006 I announced on Ioan online that i got engaged and i was over the moon. Sadly it seems that the wedding and my relationship is going to be no more. I am very sad at the moment and really need a shoulder to cry on or even someone to talk to about it as I can't go to my family (they will just say come home) or my best friend (she only recently lost her dad and doesn't need me crying on her shoulder) and all i want to do is scream. We are trying to work things out for the sake of our 3 year old as I don't want her being brought up with separated parents (i did and it wasn't nice). I wish there was a magic wand that i could wave to make it all better again. Hugs Karen

Karen, I'm sorry to hear your relationship is not going as well as it should. I wish I had a magic wand so that I could make things better, but I can only offer my shoulder to cry on. You are in my thoughts. :hug

I'm so sorry to hear about the struggles you are having in your relationship. Not knowing any of the complications your relationship has gone through it is difficult to know what to say, other than I'll sends hugs, good thoughts and prayers if you want them in your direction. I hope for your child's sake that you and your mate will be able to find a good counselor to help you walk through the problems and find some solutions.

I too am sorry to hear of your situation, kaz :hug . Some kind of counselling sounds ke a good idea, if you're not already having it. Someone once said that it was better to come from a broken home than live in one and , having grown up in a home where the parents stayed together for the kids, I have the opposite view to yourself. And being separated myself, I can understand your welter of mixed emotioms at the moment. We are here to listen, if you want to talk or rant, and I know you will find the strength to sort it all out t the best otcome for all three of you.

thanks so much guys you are all stars. we have had a good long and tearful chat and have decided that we are postponing the wedding untill i get some help and we are going to work through this as a team that we always were. I suppose i am scared of getting married having had divorced parents who were married to other people before they met and suddenly now 15 years later being told the truth bit by bit and of course being told i have a long lost brother i never knew about dosen't help my messed up little head either. thanks to you all and i am going to let you know how i get on with my shrink. love you all lots Karen xxxxx

I hope you will be able to get the best help possible, Karen, to sort your problems out. You and your partner (or can I still call him your fiancé?) being able to talk things through and still work as a team is promising as to there being light at the end of the tunnel. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. :hug

Karen, A bit late to this thread as I have been for the past two weeks. It sounds like you are taking all the right steps. Marriage is a big commitment and if you are unsure it is good to take a step back and think about things for awhile. Counseling sounds like it will help, and the good news is that your partner is willing to talk things out with you. Good luck and best wishes, GinaP :cool:

Hi guys just thought i would leave an update for you. first of all you are all wonderful people and I know if we all got together i would give you all a bug hug. my other half is staying at his dads for a few weeks just till we get things back on track we are on a break (think ross and rachel for all you friends fans) and we are free to see other people (not sure if i want to though) and then in a few weeks we will see how we feel. We told our little girl that he has to go and look after her granda as he is sick, its the only way she understands that her daddy isn't staying here. i was very emotional and had to leave work early (told my boss who is the best boss ever and was very shocked as is everyone else) but i am strangly calm now and have been put on the waiting list for counselling which is only a week long and the good thing is you can pay as much as you can so it's not going to be expensive. Once again thanks for everything everyone and if anyone wants to leave me emails or private messages feel free. I will try and leave you updates when i can. Love to you all Karen xx

I think it is a good idea to not live together for a few weeks and see how you will feel then (I can understand when you say that you are not sure about seeing other people) and to tell your daughter that her dad had to go and look after her sick granda (since your separation is only temporary - at least for now - it wouldn't be fair to burden her with problems that will hopefully be solved, eventually). You are lucky to have an understanding boss. I hope you can start counselling soon and that it will be useful.

Good Luck Karen. It sounds as if you are taking wise steps. Keep us posted, GinaP :cool:

My thoughts are with you. The possible breakdown of a relationship isn't easy even more so when a little one is involved. I truely hope you can resolve things, but, you will always have friends here to talk to.

Ms. Kaz, Want you to know that I'm keeping good thoughts going for you and will continue to think about you and your situation. Love, Ship :hug

Just stopping to let you know Kaz that I hope things are improving for you and sending a :hug

Dear Karen, Sorry I´m so late, but I have my life going upside down with the baby and all. I hope I could be of some help and you know you can talk to me about anything you want. I wish I could pass to you some of my happiness. I hope everything works out for you and your relationship. Also all my love for your little one and all the joy. You are in my thoughts.

thanks guys you have all been fab. this week has been mad busy trying to run a house work full time and look after the monkey but i am getting there. we are still on good terms and talking nearly every day. counselling was hard going but i came out feeling like the sun was shining (it was 6.30 and dark lol) and a weight had been lifted. my mum and dad have been calling every couple of days and I feel really strong. stronger than i thought i would ever be as i am usually quite a soft person, guess age has made me stronger. I will keep you guys updated and thanks for everything. i love you all.