Jokes and other funny stuff

Hi Gnat, Oh,Honeychild, the stories Ah could tell yah,..........Seriously, when I first moved to the small town where I now live (just outside Nashville), that joke would truly apply. But, we've urbanized now to such an extent, that most people don't even know their nextdoor neighbor's names. In some ways it's a blessing;and,and in other ways,it's kind of sad,too.

People here wave at each other when you're out walking and a car passes. It took some getting used to, but one of the nice things about a small town. But, all the old timers know the scandals. :wink:

Boy! You better believe it! I worked in a drugstore on Main Street which had been in business for 125 years at the time,......and some of the old timers would come in and keep us entertained in grand fashion. It was,by far, the most interesting job I've ever held.

But, we've urbanized now to such an extent, that most people don't even know their nextdoor neighbor's names. In some ways it's a blessing;and,and in other ways,it's kind of sad,too. I know what you mean, Shipmate. I've always lived in a town and I can recall once making a fool of myself because I asked a neighbour how his wife was only to discover she had died two months earlier. I have a friend who lives in a village, instead, and her busybody neighbour prevented her flat from being burgled because she heard noises coming from my friend's flat when she knew my friends was on holiday, so she immediately called the police, who caught the burglars before they could run away.

Touche Gaff and Frances - I agree. It's a definite small town thing. And Frances that's crazy! But awesome for your friend for having such a neighbor. It can be annoying at times, I'm sure, to have someone so nosy. But at other times, obviously, it's really good. Matie - :happy you're so cute!!! I love talking to southern women. Southern women always seem so warm and friendly and caring.

There is a little security in having your neighbors know you - as long as they like and care about you. Otherwise . . .

Tis true, GG! My street is one on it's own (even though we are in a city, we are bordered by the river and shipyards) and everyone knows everyone - it's like flippin' Coronation Street! But I love it :wink:

And Frances that's crazy! But awesome for your friend for having such a neighbor. It can be annoying at times, I'm sure, to have someone so nosy. But at other times, obviously, it's really good. In fact, my friend used to be annoyed by this neighbour not minding her own business, but she had to admit that there are occasions when nosiness is helpful and she discovered that lady really cares about people.

It is a nice feeling to belong to a community.

There's nothing like having a really good neighbor. Some can be so sweet and caring, and others.......well,I won't get into THAT! I agree with the Robert Frost line: "Good fences make good neighbors."

Yes definitely good and bad to nosy neighbors. In my building, I don't like my neighbors and they don't really seem to care too much for me so................I did, however, grow up (partially) on a block where we all knew each other. There were a ton of kids so we all played together. And consequently got into trouble together. But we all were pretty good to each other and were respectful enough that if we had a problem with someone being too loud, we could talk to them. And the bright side of that was often times if someone was having a party, the whole block would be invited.

I loved this one!!! One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?") "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading" "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "For reading a book," she replies, "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her again, "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading" "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think

That is a good one! May be useful some day.

Good one, Gnat! I'll keep it in mind, just in case I needed it. :wink:

Shredded A young executive was leaving the office one evening when he saw the Managing Director standing in front of the shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen, " said the director " this is a very important and sensitive document and my secretary has left. How does this work"? "Like this," said the young exec who turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent " said the director, " I just need one copy." Engineering Logic Two rather nerdy engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'" The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit." Three Women Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet up for lunch. The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my life. I love you.' Then we made love all night long. The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night. The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, 'What's for dinner, Batman?' The 747 has everything (This is very bad, be warned) A 747 was flying from London to New York. About 45 minutes from New York, one of the male passengers needs to go BADLY! The only lavatory available is a "Special" one for Women only. Taking pity on him, the flight attendant says he can use it, but warns him:"Don't press any buttons!" While sitting on the toilet, he notices 3 buttons on the wall in front of him and his curiosity gets the better of him. After pressing the one on the left, a stream on warm water began to gently cleanse his bottom. Pressing the center button, he was rewarded with a mechanichal arm that gently powdered his bottom. After pressing the right buttom, the entire aircraft was startled by a blood curdling scream! Waking up in a hospital bed, he looked over to see the flight attendant sitting next to him. Seeing he was awake, she scolded him:" I TOLD you not to press any buttons! You pressed the automatic tampon remover. Your penis is under your pillow."

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