Agreed, GG! I love The Reivers. There is an excellent long-running TV series here called 'Last of the Summer Wine'; it has nothing to do with Steve or the film, but the theme tume is uncannily similar to The Reivers and every time I hear it, I can see Steve's mishievous grin!
Bringing this up made me think of Mitch Vogel who played Lucius and has the Bonanza connection where he played Jamie Hunter for two years.
:roll: I am telling this joke because it's funny and I will make you laugh, and that makes me feel good, cos I am just about to change my profile pic :blink:
The Mother Superior of the convent was dying. She had taken to her bed 2 weeks ago and nobody could make her believe that she was getting any better. The other sisters took turns in gathering at her beside, praying and talking to her. One young novice thought a glass of milk might help so went to the kitchen and poured a glass out.
Taking it back to the bed chamber, another sister helped Mother superior to sit up and try to drink, to no avail.
The young noice took the glass back to the kitchen and noticed a bottle of whiskey on the kitchen bench. She poured in a generous slug (Mother Superior was known to imbibe for "medicinal purposes" only) and took the glass back to the bed chamber. Mother Superior was again helped to sit up and after taking a tenatvie sip, she drankthe whole glass.
One of the sisters asked her if she had some words of advise before she left and Mother Superior replied, "Yes, dont sell that cow!!"
and I got that from the Catholic newspaper!!
Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.
A distressed lady rushed into a Police Station and told the officer behind the desk that she had been graped, 'do you mean raped Madam?' enquired the kindly Plod....
'No' the lady replied, 'there was a bunch of them....'
:rotf: Gilly - that one tickled my funny bone!
Those all gave me a chuckle, ladies.
* If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)
* If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)
* The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)
* A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
* A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
* (I'm still not over the pig.)
* Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour (Don't try this at home,maybe at work)
* The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")
* The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
* The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
* Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
* Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)
* The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)
* Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
* Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (okay, so that would be a good thing)
* A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
* An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)
* Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)
* Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
* Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)
:rotf: Frances, thanks for that one. Read it before, but it is still SO funny. I like the one with the praying mantiss. When I reincarnate, I want to be either a praying mantiss or a black widow spider... :devil
When I reincarnate, I want to be either a praying mantiss or a black widow spider... :devil
Why wait til you re-incarnate, Syl? I say Go For It, Girl!!!! :wink:
(Cheers for the much-needed giggle, Frances!)
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'
She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'
I love that one Frances! Ah them southern women! :wink: :happy
That is quite funny, Frances. Actually I think it probably suits many of the smaller towns in American, not just the Southern ones. Seems like in small towns, everyone knows everybody's business.
It probably suits many smaller towns all over the world, where everyone seems to know everybody's business.