Hehe, those laws by Mr Murphy and others are still very funny. My parents have a book with all sorts of Murphy's Laws and as a kid I remember laughing at a particular one. Can't remember who the law was supposedly named after, but let's say for convenience's sake it's the First Law of Camping. There's always one more mosquito. As there are (in the worst case) bazillions of mosquitos around in the Finnish summer night and Finnish people are very enthusiastic summer cottage dwellers this "law" has been proven true several times by me, too. There's just about nothing as annoying than the "eeeeeee-eee" of a lone mosquito taking to flight just after you've turned off the lights in the cottage. Before this moment you've spent at least a quarter of an hour trying to swat every single mosquito in the room in order not to be munched on during the night. When you finally think you've killed them all, there's always one more mosquito...

A posh looking gentleman arrives at the pearly gates and identifies himself. St. Peter looks in his book but doesn't see the man's name there. "Pray tell, how did you arrive here?" the saintly one asked. "Well," the man began, I was having a really bad day at work. The computer network crashed, my top client took his business elsewhere, the boss threatened to fire me. So I left early. On my way home I got a flat tire, my auto club dues were expired and I called home over and over until my cell phone died but my wife didn't answer. I finally make it home to our high rise and there's music on, empty wine bottles and glasses scattered around the condo, my wife's clothing and some man's clothing draped over every piece of furniture. My wife is in the shower and I see some naked guy hanging by his fingertips from our balcony railing. So in a rage I went out on the balcony and smashed the guys fingers with a flower pot until he let go and he fell but he lived! He landed in some bushes and was alive! So I pushed the refrigerator out on to the balcony and as I lifted it over the railing I felt this piercing chest pain then everything went black… and here I am." St. Peter scratched his head and said "Have a seat while we figure out what to do with you" and as he reached for the phone another man appeared and introduced himself. St. Peter checked his book and said "You're not due here for years, how did you get here?" The man said "I don't know, I was sunbathing on my condo's balcony when I reached for my suntan lotion it slipped under the railing and nearly off the balcony. I couldn't fit my hand under the railing to reach it so I bent over the railing to grab it and I fell. As I fell I grabbed out blindly and caught the railing of the balcony below me. I hung there sobbing relief and saying a prayer of thanks when some madman came out onto the balcony and started smashing my hands with a flower pot. I tried to hold on but I couldn't and I fell I don't know how many stories until my fall was broken by some bushes. I was alive! I wept as I said a prayer of thanks until I heard a whistling noise and I looked up and saw this refrigerator hurtling down at me then everything went black and here I am." "I see…" mumbled St. Peter, even more confused than ever. Have a seat over ther… no!" catching himself he seated the second man on the other side of the room from the first man. Just as St. Peter reached for the emergency hotline to Upstairs a third man arrived. "What did YOU get here?' asked St. Peter completely exasperated. "Ok, picture this," the young man started "you're crouching naked in a refrigerator…"

Hopefully I will translate this joke to be enough funny, I am sure it will be, I at least hope so. Yavannie, it concerning mosquitos. :wink: A young mosquito went on his first night out, and after some time he came back to his mother all excited. His mother asked him what he was so happy and enthusiastic about and he said. :" Ma, it was unbelievable!! I even got an applause! "

:lol: Funny, Selma & Frances! (And Selma, the mosquito joke did translate pretty well. Heh.)

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls 911. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The 911 operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?" ********** Famed fictional detective Sherlock Holmes and his gruff assistant Doctor Watson pitch their tent while on a camping expedition, but in the middle of the night Holmes nudges Watson awake and questions him. HOLMES: Watson, look up at the stars and tell me what you deduce. WATSON: I see millions of stars, and if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it is quite likely there are some planets like earth, and if there are a few planets like earth out there there might also be life. What do you deduce Holmes? HOLMES: Watson, I deduce that somebody stole our tent.

Hilarious!

For all cat owners... How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you

I'd love to see these,Frances,but they won't open for me here in the library today. BOO---

Sorry you can't open it, Ship. It's very cute, Frances and true.

I am sorry you can't open it, Ship. I tried and searched if I could find the same "illustrated guide" somewhere else, unsuccessfully.

If I have to work, it is midnight. If I don't, I get involved in something and thenI suddenly realize that it is 2:00 or even 3:00. With our early sunrise in the summer, sometimes the sun is peaking out. I'd never sleep if I lived in Alaska.