HeartBroken
Hi Guys it has been a while since I have been on here and I'm afraid to say that things are still no better it has gone from bad to worse over the last few months. My trip to Wales was good it was wonderful to get away but there is still to much going on and I feel as if I need to escape again. I'm tired of the whole situation with the Ex I was honest with him and told him that he had broken my heart but since October we have still been texting each other and I cannot stop my feelings for him I still care about him so much and I'm still very very hurt about what he has done. I found out why he didn't want us to be in a relationship and all I'm going to say is that he got involved in some one elses breakup or rather dragged into it, meaning he has let his inner fears affect his judgements and desicions. To top it all off my Nan is in hospital with heart failure she will be fine thank goodness but Christmas hasn't been Christmas this year I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted and am crying now as I write this being Heartbroken is one of the worst things that can happen to someone I really wish that it didn't hurt anymore. Me and my Ex are still on speaking terms which I think is the best way for it to be but it is so painful to see that he only wants me one way which I can't bear to think about. I'm sorry to write this on Christmas Day I know it's meant to be a wonderful time of year but for me it isn't, I really did think that I would be feeling happier about things after all it has been 3 months since we split. If any of you can give me some advice or guidance on how you got over a broken heart it would be much appreiciated. I can't wait to get out of 2008 the last 3 months have been horrible!!! I'm sorry to moan

It's terrible when nothing seems to go the way it should, so I feel for you, Midnight. I hope your Nan will recover quickly from her heart failure and that 2009 will be better for you than 2008. I'm sending good vibes. :hug

Midnight, it must be very painful for you. You must try to forget him, forget the whole situation and start 2009 with a new life. You must think about yourself and try to be strong. You have already suffered enough. Does he suffer like you ? I do not think it. He is not worthy to suffer for. It is hard, but you have to change your live, otherwise you will get in a depression. You must try to laugh again. Do not forget that you have friends here and that we are here to listen. You are not alone.

Midnight, I'm so sorry to hear that your Christmas hasn't been as wonderful as it really should be. I don't know how good I am at giving advice, but what I would suggest to you is to completely tear yourself off of your ex. A friend of mine recently had a pretty nasty breakup and even though she wants to remain friends with her ex, she realised it couldn't happen before they had both properly dealt with the breakup. He's pining after her more than she feels comfortable with and what she did was that she decided they shouldn't be in contact at all for at least a couple of months. This way they both have time to recover and readjust, and perhaps (just perhaps) they'll be able to be friends later. I know it will hurt and be difficult for you, but I'd say you shouldn't text or anything with him for quite some while. Give yourself the time and space to heal your heart. It won't happen as long as a single text message can tear all your wounds open. After you've got your life back on track without him, you can perhaps try to rekindle a friendship. This is how I think. But it's only my opinion, and I'm not the person to dictate anything to anyone. You need to do what you feel is the best for you - it's your life after all. But on the other hand, I'm really happy you had a good time in Wales. It's lovely, isn't it? I hope 2009 will be a better one for you. :hug

MMG - Basically, I would agree with Yavannie's advice. It may be harder at first, but in the long run, it will be faster and less cumulative pain. What Marthe said about starting the New Year off fresh is good advice, too. And what Frances says about it not always being advisable to stay in touch is true - when you start a new relationship (and you will) after you are over this relationship, it makes some men uncomfortable to know there is an old love hanging around in the background that you might be comparing him to. From me - I send a big :hug and hope that both your heart and your Grandmother's heal quickly.

Midnight, I am sorry to hear about your grandmother and hope she gets well soon. As far as the ex goes, I am in agreement with all the other ladies here. Break it off clean. Stop texting and stop all contact. I know that this is really hard, but what can help you is to get involved in other interesting things, such as a hobby, a special class, or perhaps attending the theater or other events. Arrange for outings with your friends and family. Do things that you really love. Soon, you will be having so much fun that he will be a distant memory. The idea is to build a self identity separate from him. Then you will open yourself up to some other relationship that has the promise of being more fulfilling, which is something you deserve. I hope my words help. Best wishes, GinaP

Hard though it may be, I believe it would be best to make a clean break in your sad situation, Midnight. It might be possible to have your Ex as a mate, once you have cleaned him out of your heart, but you won't really lwt anyone else in while he's still there. I speak from bitter experience and it's not easy, but you will look back and say that you handled the situation with dignity, and then look forward and move on. I'm sorry you're feeling so dreadful at Christmas - it's the worst time of year to be down, as everyone expects you to be happy, as if reall life somehow takes a back seat (and we know all about that here at the Zone, don't we? :wink:) A really big :hug to keep you going, and come and talk to us whenever you need to pour it all out!

MMT, The ladies have given some really sound advice,and I'm in agreement with what they are saying. I know it's not easy,dear,but to feel better in the long run, cutting off communication will be a good thing. Also,trying to keep as busy as you can during times like this is not a bad idea either. Really throwing yourself into some type of activities,can be a great help sometimes. ------------------------------I wish your Grandma well and hope she feels better very soon! Love, Ship